Thoughts on Connection & Friendship…
I’ve been thinking a lot about connection and friendship these days.
When my transformation journey began back in 2010, I had more friends than I knew what to do with and my social life was beyond thriving.
It was going through a divorce that year when I realized I didn’t have nearly as many friends as I thought.
Some, I realized, were never my friends to begin with; others, when my life began to unravel, found it too difficult to stand by my side lest my messiness rub off on them. And, as I began the process of self-discovery and learned to stand in my own skin, to set boundaries, and to be unapologetically and authentically me – even some of my lifelong friends fell to the wayside.
To be honest, I own some of this. I had strayed so far from who I was, in order to fit in where I so desperately wanted to belong, there were few who actually knew the real me…hell, I’m not sure I knew the real me.
Standing in one’s imperfections can be lonely in a world where we’re asked to be glittery, polished and perfect. Authenticity, a popular catchphrase these days, is a far cry from popularity. Why? Why are we so ready to conform to fit in? Why is fitting in so desirous in the first place?
The answer – I believe – is human connection. When we boil everything meaningful in life down to its simplest form, we all simply want to be loved, heard, understood and accepted – in fact, our lives depend on it. Human longevity depends on, more than any other factor, our ability to connect with others and form genuine relationships with those around us.
Yet, if you step back and look around, this seems so far from the truth. In fact, we seem almost hell-bent on the opposite. Everywhere you turn, we are attacking, blaming, gossiping, accusing and judging one another. Social media is especially rampant with this type of behavior. We post and gossip about another’s mistakes and misfortunes as a form of amusement – never stopping to think about the humanity of the person of which we speak.
What has happened to human kindness, compassion, respect and common decency?
I don’t have the answers to these questions. Lord knows my heart wishes it did. What I do know is that I can make a difference.
While I can’t change those around me, I can choose how I want to be seen in the world. I can stand up for those who have lost their voice. I can be kind even in the face of unkindness. I can choose to be compassionate and loving. I can honor those around me by not gossiping, judging or otherwise disparaging people and/or situations I believe I know, but likely don’t understand.
So, I ask again – could you use a friend?
If so, I welcome you…you have a friend here.
I started this blog to open myself up to sharing my personal transformation of overcoming perfectionism and learning to be my best and most authentic self. Out of a bit if selfishness, I also started this blog in the hopes of forming a tribe of women I could connect with.
After my divorce, I embarked on a college career in order to learn all I could about empowering other women to stand in THEIR own authenticity, to allow their mistakes and adversity to shine as a guiding light on the path towards courage, strength, self-love and inner worthiness.
You see, when we become the best version of ourselves, we help others do the same. It’s beautiful to watch this unfold – both within ourselves and with others.
Today, I coach women on how to use their struggles and adversity as stepping stones towards a joyful, authentic life. I also just recently finished writing my memoir (which I hope to have published by the end of the year) so women know they’re not alone…and that it’s never too late to become the women they want to become!
I would love to hear from you! If you are reading this post on Facebook, leave a message, forward to a friend and/or share on your own page. It all starts with you reaching out and making a connection. If this post resonates with you, feel free to sign up for our monthly newsletter – I have some fun and exciting things planned for the remainder of the year and would love to include you in the fun!